You’re beginning to notice some changes to your child’s intake. Maybe they’re dropping the number of foods they eat, having meltdowns at mealtimes, refusing all vegetables, or demanding the same meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
What do you do? Is it best to give them exactly what they want? Or should you continue to serve new foods even if they don’t eat them or make them very uncomfortable?
There is no one way to handle picky eating. On top of that, it’s impossible to know how a new child’s eating habits will evolve over time. It can put parents in a tricky situation and can leave them questioning their actions down the line.
Despite these unknowns, I’ve noticed some common red flags over the years that seem to only reinforce picky eating habits. These are the ones I suggest avoiding when you first notice signs of picky eating in your child.
5 Habits to Avoid When Feeding Picky Eaters
1. Not serving new foods
Very often parents in my Conquering Picky Eating coaching program reveal that they don’t ever serve their picky eater new foods. I get why this happens. After learning so many times that your child won’t eat anything but their safe foods, it seems pointless to offer them something new. Why waste the food plus your time and energy? Beyond that, it probably just makes them upset and leads to more difficult mealtimes.
The thing is, if kids are never served new foods, they can never learn to like them or even be comfortable around them. The more we give into a picky eater’s preferences by only serving safe foods, the more we reinforce their aversions.
2. Pressuring
Sometimes pressure works in the moment. You know, when you ask them to take just one bite. More often, though, pressure backfires with extreme picky eaters and can even make picky eating worse.
Many extreme picky eaters have strong visceral aversions to new foods or have high anxiety about trying new foods. Forcing them to do so or offering bribes or rewards for eating can make them even more resistant to trying new foods.
3. Offering food constantly and ignoring mealtimes
All day eating is another picky eating faux pas I commonly see among families in my coaching program. Sometimes parents worry that their child isn’t eating enough and getting the right nutrition, so they constantly offer snacks and opportunities to eat. Sometimes parents feel that any opportunity to eat is a potential chance to try a new food. Others see their kids struggle so much at mealtimes that they forgo them altogether and just offer snacks all day long.
All of these situations are understandable, but they also don’t provide enough structure and time for a child to become truly hungry. When kids aren’t hungry, they’re less likely to try new foods and less likely to cooperate at mealtimes. They also just won’t eat well at meals if they’re not hungry enough or if they know that preferred foods are just 15 minutes away. Another downside to all day grazing is that foods offered at snack times tend to be less nutritious than the ones kids receive during mealtimes.
4. Limiting variety by serving the same foods over and over
Many severe picky eaters are very particular about the brand, preparation, and presentation of their preferred foods. It’s often easier to just serve a child what they like exactly the way that they like it instead of facing the meltdown and hunger strike that might ensue if you don’t. The problem is, the less a child sees variety, the more particular they become. It’s not wise to completely ignore a child’s preferences, but incorporating small changes can help them learn to accept new foods.
5. Tricking them by hiding foods
Food surprises for a picky eater rarely go over well. I’ve seen this backfire way too many times, so I don’t recommend hiding vegetables in preferred food or making sneaky additions without telling your child. Many picky eaters already bring a lot of skepticism to the table. You don’t want to give them a good reason to distrust you or their preferred foods. Plus, sneaking foods may impact a child’s nutritional status, but it doesn’t teach them to like new foods.
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