Holiday gatherings like Thanksgiving and parties are supposed to be a time for joy, connection, and celebration, right? For many families, food plays a central role in these festivities—a symbol of love, tradition, and togetherness. But what happens if your child has eating challenges like ARFID, food aversions, and sensory sensitivities?
For parents of extremely picky eaters, holiday meals can feel like walking a tightrope. Will there be anything your child will eat? How will you handle unsolicited advice or comments from relatives? And most importantly, how can you help your child feel calm and comfortable when the day revolves around something they find so challenging?
For children with extreme picky eating, stress can exacerbate their eating challenges. When anxiety spikes, so do behaviors like refusing foods, clinging to familiar brands, or melting down at the sight of something new on their plate. Unfortunately, holidays are stressful by nature—busy schedules, unfamiliar environments, and lots of social interaction can quickly overwhelm both parents and kids. Add the sensory challenges of holiday meals, like strong smells, different textures, new foods, and noisy dining spaces, and it’s easy to see why these gatherings can be particularly tough for a child with eating anxiety.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. With thoughtful planning and the right mindset, you can set your child (and yourself) up for success. This guide offers practical, parent-tested strategies to help your family navigate holiday meals with less stress and more joy. Because while food is an important part of the season, the holidays are about so much more than what’s on the table.
Here are 9 ways to help your picky eater this holiday season.
Feed Them Ahead of Time
Serve your child a satisfying meal or snack before the holiday gathering. This takes the pressure off them needing to eat at the table and ensures they won’t be hungry if the available food options don’t work for them. This also takes away the pressure of them and turns “needing to eat” into eating if they want. Bonus: this will prevent hunger-induced meltdowns!
Bring Their Preferred Foods
If your child wants to participate in the meal, pack some of their favorite foods. These can go with the meal—or not! This allows them to feel included and comfortable without the pressure of eating unfamiliar dishes.
Don’t Push New Foods
The holidays, like Thanksgiving or even a casual get together with friends, are not the time to introduce new or “challenging” foods. Stick to what your child knows and trusts. If they’re curious about what’s on the table, let them explore at their own pace without expectations.
Make Everything Else Comfortable
Sensory sensitivities often extend beyond food. Dress your child in comfortable clothing, avoid new things, and create a cozy space where they can retreat if they feel overwhelmed. Don’t be afraid to bring a comfort item or distraction to help them cope if things start to feel overwhelming.
Stick to Their Usual Routine
Even on a busy holiday, try to maintain your child’s typical schedule, including nap or quiet time, snacks, and meals. Familiarity in their routine can help keep their anxiety in check and make the holiday event feel easier.
Call Ahead to Hosts or Relatives
If possible, touch base with the hosts beforehand. Let them know about your child’s eating challenges and kindly request that they avoid comments or pressure during the meal. Use this opportunity to gather details about the food being served and flow of the day so you can prepare your child in advance.
Practice and Prepare
Give your child as much information as possible before the event (aren’t you glad you had that phone call?!). Share details like what foods might be served, who will be there, and where they’ll sit. You could even role-play scenarios like politely declining food, exploring the dessert table, or excusing yourself from the meal. Knowing what to expect can significantly reduce everyone’s anxiety so you both have a better time.
Tune Out the Noise
Don’t worry about what anyone’s thinking or expecting. You know your child’s awesome and you know where they’re at with their eating. This is one day and no one else’s thoughts or judgements should get in your way of enjoying it.
And Remember: Holidays Are Not Just About the Food
Food’s a struggle for your child. You’re not changing that overnight. So this holiday season, shift the focus away from the meal and onto other parts of the day, like spending time together, playing games, or exchanging gifts. When food isn’t the centerpiece, your child can enjoy the holiday without the stress of food looming over them.
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